Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Tired but Happy

I'm tired and having trouble keeping my eyes open. I had a long, full day today...and I had a blast!

I spent a good part of my day at the home of a family whose children I watch. Those three children were saints today and very well behaved. I did not have to deal with anger or stress or frustration or strong wills or any of the stuff I sometimes I have to deal with when I watch children. In the afternoon I was outside in the warm sunshine (and wind! Boy was it windy today!). I was pulling a five year old boy and and three year old girl around in a red wagon. Forgive the cliche. It's true. I was pulling them around in a red wagon. :) And their back yard is one big my arms and legs began to burn with the effort of pulling that wagon up and down the hill especially after I had been at it for over fifteen minutes! Also, the little lady loves piggy back rides. And once she is on your back she will stay there and nothing under the sun will remove her from that spot if she has anything to say about it. After a few hours of piggy back rides your back and neck begin to ache...but I love it. When her chubby little arms are wrapped around my neck I am overwhelmed with love for that child. Nothing can beat the warm, lovely feeling that spreads all over me. When the five year old boy crawls into my lap begging for a hug. When the seven year old boy plops onto the couch beside me to read next to me because he prefers that to sitting in the chair by himself. I just feel so loved and special and I find myself falling for those big brown eyes or that infectious smile just a little bit more.

And then this evening I got to work with another set of children altogether. How can my life get any better? Two little three year old girls were clambering all over my lap and I got to hold a baby as she drank her milk and I felt so content and happy this evening! I love my life. :)

Of course, after the afternoon with the wagon I could not keep my eyes open. All through dinner and watching the other children in the evening I could not stay awake. And now as I write I am struggling to keep my eyes open long enough to finish writing this. My muscles ache all over my body. My shoulders, my legs, my arms, my nose...(I don't think my nose actually hurts, but I was making a list and just felt like throwing it in). And I am so happy. So excessively happy. Can you die of happiness? To be honest, I want that to be the way I go. :) (Not for many years of course! I plan on having four hundred of my own children first)

I have been so blessed to be given the opportunity of working with all these sweet children. :)

Saturday, March 22, 2014


Sitting in a quiet room listening to peaceful music...and my soul is finding the refreshment I have been craving.

I've been a bit on edge today, for several reasons. I am a worrier, seriously. I want everything to work out just so, but I don't want to have to do anything outside my bubble to get to the end of the road. My life will turn out alright and it will all be smooth and lovely and I won't be forced out of my comfort zone. Today I was jerked into reality by a well-meaning brother encouraging me to prepare for the future and my little castle in the air crashed in an undignified heap to the floor. Life apparently is not all roses and sunshine. (I sure wish someone had told me that before...) So, needless to say, I was beginning to worry and obsess over what on earth I was going to do with my life and how on earth I would make money and why wasn't life just handed to me on a silver platter anyway? I got pretty tense, and uncomfortable, and fidgety and I was beginning to ache all over physically...
And now I am listening to soft music reveling in the arms of Jesus and thinking, I'm crazy. Why worry? Yes, I do need a plan, I do need to be prepared. No, I do not need to worry. Wherever He takes me along this road it will be good. (Whether I think so or not) He will always take care of me. And if He wants me out of my bubble, He'll help me through whatever it takes to get to that point. I do not need to worry. So now instead of obsessing and freaking out over the future, I'm going to sit back and let Him take the controls. And whatever He calls me to do I pray I'll have the strength to follow. I know He will be my strength and my guide.

I was on edge, and consequently in some pain, but now I am resting in His strong arms and I am filled with peace. I feel so very refreshed and relaxed and loved and is hard to describe this glorious feeling.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Writing with Sunshine

I was writing today, and oh how heavenly it was! Sometimes I get wrapped up in my more serious stories or am stuck in the darkness of a tragedy before the sun comes out to shine and I forget what fun writing can really be. Because at those times, it is not only a bit of a bore, but it is also very unhappy. I get so downhearted writing those parts of the story. I sometimes think I should just leave them out altogether. But then, I have no control over what happens and tragedy will strike and I will have to work through it. Today I set aside the story I have been caught up in lately that seems to be forever lost in darkness (literally) and I returned to my more uplifting, cheerful book revolving around bright sunshine, beautiful flowers and a million darling little children. And I feel so happy now that I want to talk about it! :) I stopped writing in the middle of my relaxing inspiration (sometimes it is more furious and I work as if my life depended on it, sometimes it is just refreshing, peaceful writing) and I lay back on my bed with the sun streaming through my window and I just smiled at the world. Because I'm alive and I'm so happy! Life is so amazing.

As I was writing this post something slightly cold and very fuzzy scratched it's chin against my toe. That cat is so funny! :)

It is very windy and little bit chilly and cloudy outside right now. But still, there seems to be a bright sun shining right inside my heart. I feel so warm inside, like everything is perfect and nothing can ever touch me. Which I know isn't true, but it's a nice feeling anyway. :)

I think one of the reasons my favorite book of those I have written is my children's story is because it is so happy. Nothing truly unhappy is allowed to touch my little friends and the sun is always shining and the flowers growing. That is my kind of story! Where everyone is happy, and everyone is good and the world just goes it should!

Saturday, March 15, 2014


I spent most of today listening to my recently turned 80 year old grandpa tell the stories of his life. That has been interesting and entertaining. I can't help but wonder what tales I will have to tell to my children and children's children when I am 80 years old.

I am pretty much just going to write about my grandpa today, because that's how awesome he is!

The biggest things I remember about my grandpa are, 1) he's constantly sleeping. And he'll tell you, when he goes down for his 'fifteen' minute nap, "wake me up at such and such a time." So we wake him up. "Well, just give your old grandfather five more minutes, how's that?" So we give him five more minutes. "Just another five minutes, and then I'll get up." Sure, grandpa, sure. 2) He is very particular about names. I have a cousin, Elise. We all call her Elise. I'm sure for many years she thought her name was Elise. But grandpa will always call her Elissa. Because that is the name she was given at birth. 3) He always played piano for church. That is what I remember, from practically every visit to the farm. Grandpa played piano for church. I wonder if my love of piano is genetic? 4) He is a great story teller. (Though he might chase a few bunnies along the road) I've always loved it when grandpa would sit down and tell his stories. Granted, he doesn't do that often. But it's always fun. 5) He gives the best hugs in the world. I am sure I've never had a better hug, and I hug plenty of people. 6) He really loves his family. (And is also constantly trying to marry off the single young granddaughters he deems of an age to be married, but that's another story) 7) He's a great grandpa! I'd say he's my favorite grandpa...but I've only ever known one grandpa, so that's kind of an obvious statement.

So that's my awesome grandpa. And I love him to pieces! :)

Friday, March 14, 2014


Blogging is a ton of fun, and I want to share something again today...but I have no clue what. Really I am stumped as to a topic to expound upon.

I suppose I could tell you about my day, but that would be boring I dare say. I've not done anything worth discussing today. I did some dishes, I wrote in my journal, I wrote a tiny, weeny little bit in one of my books, I made lunch and now I am sitting here staring at a computer screen thinking I would love to write on my blog but I have nothing of any consequence to say.

The dog is currently passed out on my bedroom floor. This does not happen often. I mean, he does sleep often, just not on my floor. The most likely reason he is in here today is because no one else is home at the moment and so he feels the need to be in the same room as the only living thing in the house...other than the cat. I don't think he cares much where the cat is. And the cat, who usually spends most of her time in my room has not come in yet today. I think the dog scares her.

I watched a lovely version of Emma, based off of the book by Jane Austen, last night. I also found it somewhat amusing that the actor who played Mr. Knightley in Emma also played Edmund in a version of Mansfield Park (another book by Jane Austen) and Mr. Elton also played Edmund in a different version of Mansfield Park. Frank Churchill was played by an actor who plays Fred in North and South (not a book by Jane Austen but another classic I love!). It is a small world apparently. Or there are only so many good actors in the world. Or possibly whoever made those films had a very narrow mind. The actress who played Emma I have seen in several other films, such as Nicholas Nickleby (another nineteenth century novel), but not in any other works by Jane Austen. The actress who played Emma also plays in Amazing Grace, and the actor who played Emma's father plays in Amazing Grace as well. As I said, it is a small world, at least it appears to be in the acting business.

I cleaned a little in my room yesterday...there's a random fact for you. :)

I have been very slack in putting up new quotes on my little magnet word puzzle. That puzzle is not at all inspiring, let me tell you. It is actually quite cheesy. And messed up too. For example one of the tiles, a green one (not that the color matters), says "Characture". Now I may be mistaken, I have been found wrong many times in the past, but I do not believe that is a word. I think whoever made this puzzle meant "Character." But that is not what it says. It's a weird mixture between 'character' and 'caricature'. I wonder what exactly "Characture" means?

Well as I can think of nothing else absurdly random to throw at you...I believe this is where I will end this particular post.

Until the next time my fingers itch!

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

How I Feel About The Bad Guys

Hello, people! I hope life has been as amazing for all of you as it has been for me!

I don't have anything specific to say, actually. I just feel like writing, and here is as good a place as any to do so. :) I only have two more days and I will be finished with Chemistry. That is a random fact, but it gives me joy so instead of bursting with happiness I am going to share everything that has been building up the pressure inside of me. I am going to begin playing on a volleyball team in the coming week and I am so excited. That is by far my favorite sport! :)

I have once more been reading aloud to my little sister. It has been a while and I have so missed this! Our choice of book? North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell. I love this story so much! I am not going to lie, Mr. Thornton has quite overtaken Mr. Darcy in my fancy. :) He is right up there with Mr. Rochester for me. (I suppose you should know Mr. Rochester has been my favorite man for quite a long time) I have come to the conclusion that men with flaws and pain and pasts have far more appeal to me than those that are near perfection or have pleasant, easy lives. I do not know why this is. All I know is that it is true. I have never taken the time to analyze this thought before. I suppose part of it is that I want to help them, I want to soothe their pain and comfort them. Another part may be that they are very human, so I can relate to them. I always find myself drawn to the misunderstood in all stories that I read and watch. And also, I often find myself drawn to villains, because I want to help them and bring them to the light. Whenever I watch Nicholas Nickleby I am forever saddened by the death of Uncle Ralph. I want someone to care for him and show him the truth and I want him to go and live with the family in the end and everything to be happy and wonderful. I suppose I am too much of a dreamer at times. I want there to be someone in Star Wars to help Anakin and keep him from going wrong. I want someone to help Guy of Gisbourne and bring him to the light. (My desire for that was so strong I decided to write my own version of Robin Hood...)

I have no idea what all of these thoughts and sentences and words add up to except that I often want the impossible. I also know that if a lot of what I wish for would take place, I would ruin a bunch of stories. Where is the story of redemption if Anakin does not turn to the dark side?

That's all I've got to I said, I really have no clue what any of this means. :)

Friday, March 7, 2014

Greeting Each Day With a Smile, Despite The Circumstances

I took a small break from blogging because of a lack of anything inspiring to write and today it dawned on me that I don't need to be inspiring so I'm just going to write. Hopefully I won't bore you to death. :)

Yesterday I was in an incredibly bad mood all day long. Now I do have some excuses that I would love to make. I was up at 6, and out of the house from around 7 AM until 9:30 PM except for maybe a brief ten minutes I was at home between two activities. I was also having bad day health-wise and was in considerable pain. And then also I had expected my day to go much differently and every new twist took me by surprise. For instance, on Wednesday night I was told the Bible Study I babysit for was cancelled for Thursday morning so I thought I'd have a morning off to do something relaxing...and instead I'm informed that I have been offered to another Bible Study that meets on Thursday mornings to fill in for one week. First of all, it took me by surprise and changed the plans laid out in my head. Secondly, I was upset that I wasn't asked before hand. And then on Thursday, as we went about our normal Thursday activities I was informed that I would be doing something late in the evening that I don't usually do. And I balked. Really, people? Ever since I first left the house around 7 I have been dying to go home and now I'm told I have to stay out even longer. GRR! And I was out of the house for most of yesterday and the day before and why on earth would anyone torture me in this way? So yes, I was in a bad mood. A very bad mood. But honestly, I had no reason to be.

Yes my plans were a little thrown out of balance and upset. But that pretty much happens daily when you live with Jesus. He is always changing something about your day and sending you little surprises. Also, although I had been upset about my new babysitting gig, I shouldn't have been. I adore children, and I had a great time with the three young ones I got to watch. They brightened up my whole day just by being. :) Why I would be upset about being given a chance to be with the children I love so much I have no idea. I am still baffled by my frustration from yesterday because it seemed so out of character for me. I really am not used to being so upset about things of no consequence. Also, I had fun at the activity that kept me out until 9:30. I had been dreading everything about yesterday, and when each event actually occurred I enjoyed myself immensely.

What I learned? I have anger issues. Oh wait, that wasn't the point. What I learned? I need to stop worrying about all the details of my day and just live life as God sends it to me. And do it with a smile. I know He means everything for my good, even the trials. He's shaping me into what He wants me to be. I need to be thankful and grateful for every moment of my life, even when it goes a direction I do not expect. Each and every day is an immense blessing, so why would I not be joyful and praising Jesus? Where is the room for anger and frustration when you are constantly thanking your Jesus for the life He has blessed you with?