Monday, April 14, 2014

Memories from the Past

It snowed! I love snow! Of course, it's basically all melted by now. But still, the simple fact that it did snow, that a few hours ago the ground was covered in powdery white makes me happy. However, yesterday was so bitterly cold, especially the wind, that I am beginning to rethink my opinion that excessively cold is better than excessively hot. I long for some warmth! On the other hand, if it was excessively hot, I would be desiring a cooler temperature, so I can't really say for sure which is better.

My little sister had her fourteenth birthday a few weeks ago. I find it hard to believe she is getting so old. I started thinking too, about what I was like at fourteen. How have I changed in the last four years? Have I even changed? Well, yes of course. But I can't really say how. I haven't paid that much attention. I'm quieter in the sense that I don't blurt out stupid or embarrassing things without thinking (at least not as often). Since I was fourteen several things have happened in my life. My dad went to Iraq (and then he came back again, thank goodness), I fell desperately ill (okay, it wasn't that bad, but it is fun to be dramatic)...I hope I have grown and matured over the last four years. I've never really been one to analyze myself and I'm not going to begin now. So, I'm not going to tell you some amazing story about the lessons I have learned and how much I have improved and in what areas I have grown. Because I don't know. But it's fun to consider the changes that time has brought to my person. And it's amusing to go back and read my journals from when I was fourteen. They weren't very descriptive, let me tell you. At the very least my writing has greatly improved since I was fourteen years old. Which reminds me, I was fourteen when I completed my first book, a children's story.

I am going to go back to my fourteenth year and share a few things from that time of my life. My dad was in Iraq basically my entire fourteenth year. I don't know if this would interest anyone but myself, but while thinking about being fourteen and reading my journals from that age, I started reading some notes I wrote myself while dad was in Iraq. One of them went like this:

-What cheers me up most when my dad is away is...
Seeing my friends really cheers me up. I don't know why but they have a very positive effect on me. Talking to dad on Skype cheers me up as well. You would think it would make me sad, but it makes me happy. Talking to God usually makes me smile.-

It's rather a silly little note, but it brought a smile to my lips this afternoon. And I do know one thing that would be different if I wrote it today. Seeing my friends still has a positive effect on me and never fails to brighten my day. But instead of saying 'talking to God usually makes me smile' I would say 'talking to God ALWAYS makes me smile'! Because it does! :)

I also wrote a song while dad was in Iraq, which is a very silly little piece. I don't even remember what I thought the tune should be...

-I am sad, but only for awhile
I am scared but it will pass.
Come soon I'll be able to smile
and sing just like in the past.
It is only a matter of time before
I can trust God now! I know He wants what's best for me.
He's in charge and I'll let Him be.
I can trust God now! I know...
I am happy, it will last.
I am brave it won't last!
My sadness is of the past.
So I praise God at last.
I can trust God now! I know He wants what's best for me.
He's in charge and I'll let Him be.
I can trust God now!-

That song is much better than the poem I also wrote while dad was away. I'm not going to share that with you it would be too embarrassing. That poem was hideous! The song, on the other hand, is rather sweet.

When I was fourteen (this is random) I didn't say 'exclamation point'. I said 'explanation point'. :)

I don't really have a whole lot else to add. Mostly I am just remembering random pieces of my history and writing them down as I come across them. I guess though, since it's been a few minutes and I haven't come up with anything else...I'll stop boring you now.

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