Tuesday, November 29, 2016


Hello, everyone!

I feel like I haven't blogged in ages! Probably because it has, in fact, been a while...

Dusty is still deep in editing...oh, editing...can't live with it, can't live without it...

Anyway, that's entirely beside the point. What was the point of this post again? Oh yeah, I remember...

I started a new endeavor! I have been considering, for a while now, starting a vlog on YouTube. I was making video letters for my sister since I moved across the state and was beginning to enjoy that. Also, I have been researching new ways to market my books. YouTube kept coming up as a viable and beneficial option. So...I gave it a go...

If you care to watch said new vlog, here's a link...

First Vlog

I am not 100% comfortable on camera (as you can probably tell...) and also editing is not my best friend...(oh editing...) so yeah...this first video is a bit rough. Hopefully it gets better. I am actually getting more comfortable on camera because of the video letters that I send to my sister, so that's helpful. Honestly, I do think this is going to be a fun adventure whether or not it helps promote my books. I enjoyed making this first video, even it it didn't turn out the best. I do think the most important part at this point is whether I have fun or not. And I did have fun with this vlog, so I'm happy. :)

So there you go...that's all I have to say on that subject for now. :)

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Kaelyn//My Story

Okay. I promised I'd tell the story behind Kaelyn. So here goes nothing....

Fair warning, this is going to be a difficult post and has adult content. You've been warned. Read at your own discretion.

This story starts quite a few years ago, when I was twelve years old. It started at the end of a middle-school lock-in. I had only recently hit puberty and was starting to develop into a woman's body. That night of the lock-in was the first night that I was sexually abused by a boy that I knew very well. It was only the beginning.

The boy continued to find ways to be alone with me and handle my body. I hated it. I felt disgusting. And I decided I was a terrible person because I let it happen again and again. I am of the opinion the only reason it never turned into a full on rape is because we were both too young to understand how sex worked.

I never told anyone what was going on. I was too ashamed.

After that time period, or really while it was still happening, I became addicted to porn. Again, I was very young. I was unaware that there were actually porn sites on the web. My porn watching consisted mostly of watching movie sex scenes on YouTube. I still count that as porn. And to be honest, there's a lot of other weird stuff on YouTube as well. My head was full of lustful thoughts most days and every night.

The porn watching continued up until I was sixteen years old. At that point I contracted an illness and was extremely sick and unable to function (I couldn't read a book or even finish a sentence properly half the time). Because of that, porn rather disappeared from my life. And when I came out of that illness (it was a very slow process that took years) my relationship with Jesus was much stronger.

It took a long time, and a lot of Jesus, for me to fully put porn behind me.

I still have days where I so easily fall back into that lustful thought pattern.

It's a constant struggle.

I also struggled for a long time with telling anyone about my experiences. About the porn, about the sexual abuse, any of it. My best friend--also known as my younger sister--was the only person who knew. She had had her own similarly unpleasant experiences and so we were able to talk to one another about it. But otherwise, I never spoke up. I never told my parents. Never told anyone.

Because of that, it continued to fester inside of me.

Recently, very recently....as in, two weeks ago...God and I had a long discussion and I was given the instruction to share. I needed to tell someone. So I started telling people. I told some of the people in my life group (Bible Study) at church, I told my close friends, I finally--after all these years--told my parents what had happened. And as I began to bring that sin to light, it shriveled up and died.

Sin loves the darkness. It can fester there in the shadows. It feeds on darkness. Shine a light in all the dark corners and it will die.

For years it was a huge dark shadow hanging over my head.

And now it's gone. It no longer holds power over me. God helped me bring the darkness to light and I am free of it now.

So that's the story behind Kaelyn. Those are the struggles that Kaelyn is going to deal with in her book. I am so excited about this book! I hope it will be able to minister and encourage girls (and boys too) who have had similar experiences.

Not to spoil the ending or anything, but Kaelyn is going to defeat her demons by the end of the book through the power Jesus Christ.

It wasn't until I had started shining the light into those dark corners of my heart that God planted Kaelyn's story firmly in my mind. I won't lie, it is hard to write her book. I hardly go a chapter without bursting into tears. I feel her pain. I understand what she's struggling with (yes I know I'm talking about a character as though she's real...don't judge me). But as hard as it can be to write this story, I love it. I have never been so enamored with telling a story of mine. I get excited about all of my stories. But this one...this one owns my heart. I am desperately hoping this story will be an encouragement. I cannot wait to get it finished and to the public.

I love Kaelyn like I've never loved any of my characters before. And that's probably because she's 99% me. I get her. I totally understand. And my heart breaks for her.

I don't really have anything else to say on this subject.....


we're going to end like that.

I love Kaelyn.

I hope God uses this story for His glory.

I hope I didn't freak you all out with my story....

Friday, November 11, 2016


New story ideas are coming in spades


I have never understood that expression. Where does it come from? I understand the implied meaning, I can use it appropriately (well at least I think so...maybe not though...). But I don't get it. Is it a card game reference? Could someone explain this to me?

Well....I got distracted very early on this post.

Anyway. New story ideas. Overwhelming.

Dusty is still buried deep in the editing process. (Ugh. Editing.) I'm putting a tentative (emphasis on tentative) publish date at December 20th. Don't hold me to that. Courageous Heart is about half way done and I'm still working through it.

But now I'm also working on something else as well (because I guess I can't be satisfied unless I'm multitasking).

My new story is nameless as of yet (I only started it yesterday, after all). The plot is going to follow a girl who struggles with very deep seeded issues that I struggle with myself. Kaelyn (the main character) is going to tell the story of my life through fiction. From what I've written so far, I absolutely love this story. I'm learning to grow and change at the same time that Kaelyn is and it's a beautiful process. It's bringing healing to a part of my life I thought would stay darkened forever. But God has His own plans, and I'm loving it!

Don't worry, I'll tell you all about the plot and how it is intertwined with my life, I promise. Just not today. It's the darkest portion of my life and the deepest rooted sin and it's difficult for me to talk about it. As God is healing me, however, it is becoming increasingly easier to open up and share my story. So yes, I will share it with you. But you're going to have to wait.

At any rate, Kaelyn's story has now become my personal favorite (if authors are allowed to have favorites of their own creations). I'm super excited to see where this story goes. And I hope my readers will enjoy it too. :)